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thoughts of the week

  • @chelseabirkby


Are you ever surprised to find you care about stuff?

Like your job.

How long did you make it until you asked your boss about furlough? I got to 10.30 am with a subtle “so, do you think they’ll furlough”. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold out til I follow up with “I’m eligible now btw” and finally a subtle PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

For Halloween I recreated the prom scene from Carrie with the help of my director of photography, lighting designer and housemate. It was odd having Senior Prom in my bathroom. I was annoyed at the comments of “on the blob” variety.

To get supplies, I went to Tool Station for the first time in my life and embarrassed myself by somehow throwing the bucket I just bought into a display of heaters as I said “Happy Halloween”. Outside they had a food van called “Burger World”, what a place!

I met my therapist in real life this week and had a socially distant walk around a park. Sorry for anyone in the West Oxford area who saw two people doing circuits, one of them sometimes crying. I saw Alex really enjoy eating a sandwich and it made me so happy. It’s amazing the capacity we have to hold contradictions I woke up and thought “I will go on a diet” and then I immediately came downstairs and sprayed squirty cream directly into my mouth.

Does it surprise you to realise you’re at an age where if you got pregnant it wouldn’t be a scandal. Whenever a friend tells me they’re expecting my first reaction is “oh shit- what are you gonna do?”

Or like “Ah, whose is it?” And they’re like… my husbands. We’re 28, Chelsea. This was planned. We’re very happy.

How could I not mention Biden/ Harris. I was out for a walk when I read the news and shouted to my friend who was buying a coffee HE WON!!! She ran out to ask what I was saying and I said HE WON! She ran back in and said HE WON!

They already knew.

I wrote one joke this week after hearing the word “schlong”. And it’s “schlong?” more like a schlort!

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