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thoughts of the week

  • @chelseabirkby


My niece is 13 and just got instagram. She has tagged her best friend in her bio, so I looked at her profile and her bio says “Don’t take life to seriously cause nobody makes it out alive. 13”. Teens on instagram are a lot like Mums on facebook, like Lily posted “Got my tattoo and am gone again #hometime #turkey #tattoo” and commented “major holiday come down lol”

I’m glad I didn’t have instagram at that age, I just had a piczo called “burned toast sucks” where I shared my poetry about issues I didn’t understand e.g "Do you want to starve? Neither do I. Look at that poor girl, share some apple pie”. That was about ending poverty, which I think that poem achieved. I have the post holidays blues too. On my first day back we had a 9 o’clock meeting and when my manager asked how we were I said “well, it’s just winter and redundancy isn’t it.” Later another manager, not in that meeting, emailed me feedback to praise my “can do attitude and team spirit”. There are two sides to every story.

I cried laughing remembering the time when my sister was splitting up with her boyfriend and she messaged to say “I am just trying to buy eggs half of the house”. I don’t know how “egg” happened, his name is Darren.

It’s big spider mating season and I have slept every night with the lights on and doused my room in lavender because I heard they don’t like it. I don’t know if that is true but I won’t look into it because I want to feel in control. I also hate the smell of lavender but you have to do what you have to do.

On Thursday morning, Mum said “I bought you special breakfast: petit pois” intrigued, I went into the kitchen. It was pains au chocolat.

Alex and I had a drive in gig in Wales and were over the border for 20 minutes before and horse and cart were on the main road. Is that okay? I wasn’t sure if you could swear and said “shit”, then I said “sorry can I say ‘shit’ then I shouted 'SHIT!'” and then said it was my new catchphrase. I did a shout out to Ben and Jerry’s who were catering and they gave me free ice cream. Damn, Suzuki were the other sponsor. The other gig this weekend was a vintage open air cinema in a park. Turns out there are two types of people who frequent green space on a late summer's eve: teens getting wasted and custodians of the arts. I was booked for 15 and did a tight 13. The toilets said "please wash your hands for 2 minutes".

My favourite sign I've ever seen said "please use handrail provided"- oh, but, I already brought my own!!!

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